My Left Lung

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

2006-11-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been hoping to get past the latest set of complications and I imagine what I hope will be the immediate future--- quiet days in my chair, reading, schmoozing on phone and email, and keeping up with my medications. Some good news is I just got the latest chemo approved for ONE YEAR until next NOVEMBER. So that's what Im hoping will happen--- quiet, relatively pain free, with lots to read and nice conversation with friends and colleagues. And maybe even a movie once in a while. But to get to that, I first have to get five pesky stitches removed and at weekly shots that should revive my energy. Let's see what happens.
Marty

AN UNPLEASANT EVENING

2006-11-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday was pretty eventful. I was getting tired of back pain so I took way too many anti pain pills and got dizzy. So about 10:30 at night I slipped to floor in slow motion, my glasses cut my face, and I bled way too much. With the help of a wonderful neighbor, Amy, I ended up at Newton Wellesley and got 5 stiches from a very capable doctor and home by 2 a.m. Since then I've been feeling much better!

PET SCAN RESULTS

2006-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

JUST HEARD FROM DR. ROBINSON ABOUT THE PET SCAN: It's mixed news. Some of the tumors have shrunk, and some of the bone cancer is less, though the markers are still going up, and there are new areas in my spine. What's next? More radiation and yet another drug that might help. Fortunately, though there's cancer in the spine, there's none in the brain and head, so I retain whatever faculties I have. I also feel pretty good, except for some bone pain, which the radiation may help take care of. We shall see. All in all, the Doc says there are some good things though it's a mixed bag. I feel pretty good, and the Republican loss helps my mental state. So I'm hanging in. Hope to see some of you soon. I'm still enjoying the wedding in my mind--it was great and proves that I do need to get out and do things when I can.

THE WEDDING

2006-10-29T12:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my daughter Rachel got married! She and Dan, her new husband, planned it all, so all we had to do was go. And it was great! The service, in Marsh Chapel, was short and sweet and we all sat in the choir loft (only 35 guests). Then we went to a terrific restaurant, THE LINEAGE, for a great meal and lots of schmoozing. I was worried I wouldn't have the strength the last it out, but everyone helped and I made it. It was a wonderful day, and helped me feel normal for an evening. Otherwise, I'm hanging in--- reading a lot, resting a lot, and visiting with my great kids.

GREAT CAMPAIGN SONG

2006-10-14T10:28:00.000-04:00

Click on the title to hear a new Democratic campaign song--it's been used for two Congressional races so far. This has the best visuals. It's really great.

MORE SANDCASTLES

2006-09-30T12:07:00.000-04:00

I'm back. Been busy doing nothing, but I do feel better. When I first get the chemo, I'm in bad shape for a week or so. Then, as it wears off, I feel better and better. So I've got a good week coming until I'm hit again. But I'm hanging in there, with the help of Sandy of course. Thought you might like some great sand castles---click on the title to take a look.

Papercutting

2006-09-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

Get a load of these paper sculptures by clicking on the title of this post. You can see how they were cut out, and it's pretty neat.

HI--click on this link

2006-09-03T14:15:00.000-04:00

I haven't written for a while--- latest results knocked me for a loop. But now I'm home,not working, reading stuff, playing Scrabble, and make the best of a very bad situation. Sandy as usual helps me with all of it. In fact, I couldn't do any of it without her. Saw great article about a Literary Feud in England. Check out the article, (click on title of this posting for the link)then look at the letter and read every first letter of each sentence and you'll see what he slipped in there. Lotsa fun.

STILL HERE

2006-08-14T12:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but right after a great weekend in New Hampshire with some great people, I was hit with incredible pain problems. It took a while and it's almost under control, but it involves radiation, lots of medicines, and getting the right balance. All quite debilitating. I'm now on permanent disability and won't be going back to Babson, which is another sad milestone. But on the cheerful side, I do now have less pain, I sleep through the night, and though I can't go swimming anymore, I do have the hammock!
And that's the latest.

POSITIVE THINKING

2006-07-28T17:58:00.000-04:00

Saw the doctor today, and he's still a bit positive. Although I now have cancer in various bones,he's got a new chemo therapy that he's starting on Thursday. Plus I might get radiation. The end will still be the same, but he thinks he can control both the pain and maybe the tumors, for a while. Let's hope so!

PROGRESS ISN'T ALWAYS GOOD

2006-07-27T10:37:00.000-04:00

Not a great day. I woke up yesterday thinking I was having a stroke (probably a panic attack) and Sandy and I spent a long and boring day at the hospital. Found out it was nothing. But then I got the PET scan results this morning. "The disease has progressed" as they say. It's not too bad yet, but clearly not good. I meet the doctor tomorrow to discuss new therapies, but he was frank to admit that there's no cure and no way out. But he also thinks there are still some things they can do. In addition, I won't be teaching, but go on long term disability, though "long term" is not too likely. I'll miss the students and my colleagues, but I have to devote what energy I got left to fighting this. Thanks to everyone for hanging in, and your comments---all of which I read but can't still figure out how to reply to directly.

MONDAY'S THE DAY

2006-07-20T23:23:00.000-04:00

Over the year I've had cancer,the problem has been getting a definitive idea of how I'm doing. On Monday, I get another PET scan, which should answer the question. After Avastin and Tarceva, I need to know if I'm 1> getting better, 2> worse, or 3> staying the same. My doctor will settle for no. 3, and we don't want no. 2, but I'm hoping for no. 1. That will also answer the question of whether the pains I have are chemo, cancer, or something else. I should have the results in a week or so. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me over these many months.

I'M STILL HERE!

2006-07-16T10:09:00.000-04:00

Saw the doc on Thursday, and the big issue is deciding what's cancer, what's chemo reaction, and what's old age. After a great weekend on Cape Cod with friends, I've been full of aches and pains of undetermined origin. A PET scan in a week or so should settle the issue, and decide if I'm getting better or not. My daughter gave me a great gift--a digital portrait by an artist named Jesse Wonder Clark. He uses a digital system that can record every brushstroke, so you get the portrait AND a DVD that shows its creation. Click on the title above and then on the "movie" link on the page to see an example. It's pretty amazing.

QUICK MEDICAL UPDATE

2006-06-29T09:24:00.000-04:00

Just heard from my ace nurse practitioner, Veronica. My cancer markers continue to go down, and next month I get scanned again to see if the drugs really are working. It feels like they are, and I'm alive and kicking, so I'm crossing my fingers. Now I have to decide if I am able to return to teaching. Hope so, actually.

PAINT BY NUMBERS

2006-06-21T17:24:00.000-04:00

I've been a little lax posting, but nothing much happening, other than my younger daughter is engaged and planning a wedding, and I've been walking in lovely Crystal Lake (jewel of Newton) every day. If you want to try something addictive if not artistic, click on the title and imitate Jackson Pollock. Every time you click the mouse, the color changes.

SCIENCE IN ACTION

2006-06-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

This is incredible. Watch what happens when you put Mentos in Diet Coke--there's an explanation on the site, www.eepybird.com

BACK FROM PARADISE

2006-06-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

We just got back from Anguilla. Despite the fact that volcanic ash in Puerto Rico delayed our connection overnight, AND they lost our luggage for two days, this was THE GREATEST VACATION EVER. (By the way, good ol Sandy was able to get us a free room in San Juan for the missed night--she was willing to play the cancer card. Whatta gal!). A beautiful, huge, deserted beach, just like in the adverts, clear blue water and white white sand, and a big comfy room ten steps from it all. It was paradise. Read some great books, swam a lot, walked to a beautiful place for meals and dinner. And now we're back. But we shall return!
To see way too many photos, click on the title!

2006-05-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla!

OFF TO ANGUILLA

2006-05-22T20:21:00.000-04:00

We're leaving in the morning for Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla. No doctors, no phones, no TV, just a beautiful beach and many good books. Can't wait!

THE END OF TWO ERAS

2006-05-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

In case you missed the news, the last two days saw the passing of two giants of the entertainment world. Lew Anderson, aka Clarabelle the Clown, died at 84. He only spoke once on "Howdy Doody." On the last minute of the last show, in 1960, the camera panned in close and he said "Goodbye, Kids." And Frankie Thomas, the original Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, died at 85. According to the Times obituary's last sentence: "At his request, Mr. Thomas was buried Tuesday in his "Tom Corbett, Space Cadet" costume." I missed seeing any tributes on TV-- but I remember!

AMAZING

2006-05-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

Click on the title to hear some amazing cats.

THIS IS GREAT

2006-05-14T14:39:00.000-04:00

Al Gore did a very funny bit on Saturday Night Live. Click on the title and scroll down. You'll love it!

I IS WE

2006-05-14T19:13:00.000-04:00

By the way, I write these blog entries about my experience and sometimes forget to include the person who is always there, always supportive, and always sharing the ups and downs of my long (one year now) bout with cancer. Sandy makes it possible for me to continue with a good attitude, to even write this blog, and to carry on. So when you read "I" in these entries, remember that it's always me and my wonderful wife, Sandy.

WHAT A DAY!

2006-05-14T13:25:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday was an incredible day. I went in for chemo at 12:30, found out they were worried about a clot, so they did an emergency CT scan, then just made it to radiation at 5. After that, Sandy and I were going to Burlington to meet friends for dinner. Halfway there, on Route 128, we heard a THUMPA THUMPA and had a blowout! The car came to rest on the exit ramp with the tire shredded. Thanks to a friendly cop, someone came and changed the tire. At least it happened in one of the few moments in the last week it hasn't been raining. Good news: no clot and the tumor has shrunk. And radiation is over. Back to grading final papers and exams!

HELLO AND THANKS

2006-05-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

I want to thank everyone who comments on the blog. I haven't figured out how to reply directly to each yet, but I do read and appreciate your responses. As for me, my heart checked out O.K., so that's one less thing to worry about. And radiation ends on Friday. Otherwise, I'm trying to keep up my spirits while grading a bunch of final exams and papers. This may be an impossible task!