My Left Lung

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

2006-11-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been hoping to get past the latest set of complications and I imagine what I hope will be the immediate future--- quiet days in my chair, reading, schmoozing on phone and email, and keeping up with my medications. Some good news is I just got the latest chemo approved for ONE YEAR until next NOVEMBER. So that's what Im hoping will happen--- quiet, relatively pain free, with lots to read and nice conversation with friends and colleagues. And maybe even a movie once in a while. But to get to that, I first have to get five pesky stitches removed and at weekly shots that should revive my energy. Let's see what happens.
Marty

AN UNPLEASANT EVENING

2006-11-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday was pretty eventful. I was getting tired of back pain so I took way too many anti pain pills and got dizzy. So about 10:30 at night I slipped to floor in slow motion, my glasses cut my face, and I bled way too much. With the help of a wonderful neighbor, Amy, I ended up at Newton Wellesley and got 5 stiches from a very capable doctor and home by 2 a.m. Since then I've been feeling much better!

PET SCAN RESULTS

2006-11-08T15:18:00.000-05:00

JUST HEARD FROM DR. ROBINSON ABOUT THE PET SCAN: It's mixed news. Some of the tumors have shrunk, and some of the bone cancer is less, though the markers are still going up, and there are new areas in my spine. What's next? More radiation and yet another drug that might help. Fortunately, though there's cancer in the spine, there's none in the brain and head, so I retain whatever faculties I have. I also feel pretty good, except for some bone pain, which the radiation may help take care of. We shall see. All in all, the Doc says there are some good things though it's a mixed bag. I feel pretty good, and the Republican loss helps my mental state. So I'm hanging in. Hope to see some of you soon. I'm still enjoying the wedding in my mind--it was great and proves that I do need to get out and do things when I can.

THE WEDDING

2006-10-29T12:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my daughter Rachel got married! She and Dan, her new husband, planned it all, so all we had to do was go. And it was great! The service, in Marsh Chapel, was short and sweet and we all sat in the choir loft (only 35 guests). Then we went to a terrific restaurant, THE LINEAGE, for a great meal and lots of schmoozing. I was worried I wouldn't have the strength the last it out, but everyone helped and I made it. It was a wonderful day, and helped me feel normal for an evening. Otherwise, I'm hanging in--- reading a lot, resting a lot, and visiting with my great kids.

GREAT CAMPAIGN SONG

2006-10-14T10:28:00.000-04:00

Click on the title to hear a new Democratic campaign song--it's been used for two Congressional races so far. This has the best visuals. It's really great.

MORE SANDCASTLES

2006-09-30T12:07:00.000-04:00

I'm back. Been busy doing nothing, but I do feel better. When I first get the chemo, I'm in bad shape for a week or so. Then, as it wears off, I feel better and better. So I've got a good week coming until I'm hit again. But I'm hanging in there, with the help of Sandy of course. Thought you might like some great sand castles---click on the title to take a look.

Papercutting

2006-09-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

Get a load of these paper sculptures by clicking on the title of this post. You can see how they were cut out, and it's pretty neat.

HI--click on this link

2006-09-03T14:15:00.000-04:00

I haven't written for a while--- latest results knocked me for a loop. But now I'm home,not working, reading stuff, playing Scrabble, and make the best of a very bad situation. Sandy as usual helps me with all of it. In fact, I couldn't do any of it without her. Saw great article about a Literary Feud in England. Check out the article, (click on title of this posting for the link)then look at the letter and read every first letter of each sentence and you'll see what he slipped in there. Lotsa fun.

STILL HERE

2006-08-14T12:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but right after a great weekend in New Hampshire with some great people, I was hit with incredible pain problems. It took a while and it's almost under control, but it involves radiation, lots of medicines, and getting the right balance. All quite debilitating. I'm now on permanent disability and won't be going back to Babson, which is another sad milestone. But on the cheerful side, I do now have less pain, I sleep through the night, and though I can't go swimming anymore, I do have the hammock!
And that's the latest.

POSITIVE THINKING

2006-07-28T17:58:00.000-04:00

Saw the doctor today, and he's still a bit positive. Although I now have cancer in various bones,he's got a new chemo therapy that he's starting on Thursday. Plus I might get radiation. The end will still be the same, but he thinks he can control both the pain and maybe the tumors, for a while. Let's hope so!

PROGRESS ISN'T ALWAYS GOOD

2006-07-27T10:37:00.000-04:00

Not a great day. I woke up yesterday thinking I was having a stroke (probably a panic attack) and Sandy and I spent a long and boring day at the hospital. Found out it was nothing. But then I got the PET scan results this morning. "The disease has progressed" as they say. It's not too bad yet, but clearly not good. I meet the doctor tomorrow to discuss new therapies, but he was frank to admit that there's no cure and no way out. But he also thinks there are still some things they can do. In addition, I won't be teaching, but go on long term disability, though "long term" is not too likely. I'll miss the students and my colleagues, but I have to devote what energy I got left to fighting this. Thanks to everyone for hanging in, and your comments---all of which I read but can't still figure out how to reply to directly.

MONDAY'S THE DAY

2006-07-20T23:23:00.000-04:00

Over the year I've had cancer,the problem has been getting a definitive idea of how I'm doing. On Monday, I get another PET scan, which should answer the question. After Avastin and Tarceva, I need to know if I'm 1> getting better, 2> worse, or 3> staying the same. My doctor will settle for no. 3, and we don't want no. 2, but I'm hoping for no. 1. That will also answer the question of whether the pains I have are chemo, cancer, or something else. I should have the results in a week or so. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me over these many months.

I'M STILL HERE!

2006-07-16T10:09:00.000-04:00

Saw the doc on Thursday, and the big issue is deciding what's cancer, what's chemo reaction, and what's old age. After a great weekend on Cape Cod with friends, I've been full of aches and pains of undetermined origin. A PET scan in a week or so should settle the issue, and decide if I'm getting better or not. My daughter gave me a great gift--a digital portrait by an artist named Jesse Wonder Clark. He uses a digital system that can record every brushstroke, so you get the portrait AND a DVD that shows its creation. Click on the title above and then on the "movie" link on the page to see an example. It's pretty amazing.

QUICK MEDICAL UPDATE

2006-06-29T09:24:00.000-04:00

Just heard from my ace nurse practitioner, Veronica. My cancer markers continue to go down, and next month I get scanned again to see if the drugs really are working. It feels like they are, and I'm alive and kicking, so I'm crossing my fingers. Now I have to decide if I am able to return to teaching. Hope so, actually.

PAINT BY NUMBERS

2006-06-21T17:24:00.000-04:00

I've been a little lax posting, but nothing much happening, other than my younger daughter is engaged and planning a wedding, and I've been walking in lovely Crystal Lake (jewel of Newton) every day. If you want to try something addictive if not artistic, click on the title and imitate Jackson Pollock. Every time you click the mouse, the color changes.

SCIENCE IN ACTION

2006-06-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

This is incredible. Watch what happens when you put Mentos in Diet Coke--there's an explanation on the site, www.eepybird.com

BACK FROM PARADISE

2006-06-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

We just got back from Anguilla. Despite the fact that volcanic ash in Puerto Rico delayed our connection overnight, AND they lost our luggage for two days, this was THE GREATEST VACATION EVER. (By the way, good ol Sandy was able to get us a free room in San Juan for the missed night--she was willing to play the cancer card. Whatta gal!). A beautiful, huge, deserted beach, just like in the adverts, clear blue water and white white sand, and a big comfy room ten steps from it all. It was paradise. Read some great books, swam a lot, walked to a beautiful place for meals and dinner. And now we're back. But we shall return!
To see way too many photos, click on the title!

2006-05-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla!

OFF TO ANGUILLA

2006-05-22T20:21:00.000-04:00

We're leaving in the morning for Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla. No doctors, no phones, no TV, just a beautiful beach and many good books. Can't wait!

THE END OF TWO ERAS

2006-05-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

In case you missed the news, the last two days saw the passing of two giants of the entertainment world. Lew Anderson, aka Clarabelle the Clown, died at 84. He only spoke once on "Howdy Doody." On the last minute of the last show, in 1960, the camera panned in close and he said "Goodbye, Kids." And Frankie Thomas, the original Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, died at 85. According to the Times obituary's last sentence: "At his request, Mr. Thomas was buried Tuesday in his "Tom Corbett, Space Cadet" costume." I missed seeing any tributes on TV-- but I remember!

AMAZING

2006-05-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

Click on the title to hear some amazing cats.

I IS WE

2006-05-14T19:13:00.000-04:00

By the way, I write these blog entries about my experience and sometimes forget to include the person who is always there, always supportive, and always sharing the ups and downs of my long (one year now) bout with cancer. Sandy makes it possible for me to continue with a good attitude, to even write this blog, and to carry on. So when you read "I" in these entries, remember that it's always me and my wonderful wife, Sandy.

THIS IS GREAT

2006-05-14T14:39:00.000-04:00

Al Gore did a very funny bit on Saturday Night Live. Click on the title and scroll down. You'll love it!

WHAT A DAY!

2006-05-14T13:25:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday was an incredible day. I went in for chemo at 12:30, found out they were worried about a clot, so they did an emergency CT scan, then just made it to radiation at 5. After that, Sandy and I were going to Burlington to meet friends for dinner. Halfway there, on Route 128, we heard a THUMPA THUMPA and had a blowout! The car came to rest on the exit ramp with the tire shredded. Thanks to a friendly cop, someone came and changed the tire. At least it happened in one of the few moments in the last week it hasn't been raining. Good news: no clot and the tumor has shrunk. And radiation is over. Back to grading final papers and exams!

HELLO AND THANKS

2006-05-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

I want to thank everyone who comments on the blog. I haven't figured out how to reply directly to each yet, but I do read and appreciate your responses. As for me, my heart checked out O.K., so that's one less thing to worry about. And radiation ends on Friday. Otherwise, I'm trying to keep up my spirits while grading a bunch of final exams and papers. This may be an impossible task!

THIS JUST IN

2006-05-07T10:17:00.000-04:00

Here's the latest on me: the tumor on my spine is no schwanomma. It's the real thing, unfortunately. Fortunately, it should be gone by Friday. Also, fortunately, I've got the face rash of a pimply teenager. That means the Tarceva I'm taking is working. I also had a bit of atrial fibrillation, which means another pill to take every day, 2 EKGs and an echocardiogram. I'm seeing the cardiologist Wednesday. But, considering, the big issues, this is nothing.

A GREAT MOMENT

2006-05-02T12:02:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you heard about Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Right in front of Bush, he was amazing. Many people were shocked, but I agree with those who started a website called "Thank You Stephen Colbert" and include the video in three parts. To see it, click on the title of this post, then scroll down to the video.

NOT BIRDBRAINS

2006-04-29T16:40:00.000-04:00

Grammar, you may be surprised to know, is more than a system designed to bedevil humans. Click on the title and you'll be surprised.

THE SCHWANNOMA EXPLAINED

2006-04-25T16:42:00.000-04:00

A few people have expressed interest in the oddly named schwannoma. Here's the poop: a schwannoma is a benign tumor of the nerve root that reads as malignant on PET scans. The long shot for me is that I get them---I've had one in my spine twice and one on my leg. So this latest thing might be another. That's why they're checking. But the negative is that schwannomas grow very slowly, and this suddenly appeared on a PET scan. So unless the earlier scans missed it, it's probably something with a less funny name. But I'll know soon.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

2006-04-23T18:13:00.000-04:00

So I just heard from my doctors, and now they are waiting a week for radiation, so that a neurosurgeon can check and see if the latest tumor on my tailbone is a benign schwannomma. It's a long long shot, but great news if true. Of course Sandy and I have to decide all this, and who knows if it's the right decision. But we keep deciding and hoping for the best.

THE LATEST AND THE WORST

2006-04-20T19:30:00.000-04:00

Got back from my first day on Avastin/Tarceva and a talk with the nice therapy lady. Tomorrow I go for a dry run with the radiation machine. I feel pretty good all in all, and plan to just live my life as if it will continue. I've got a little project that keeps me busy, and enjoy keeping up on things. For example, click on the title and you'll find out what (or who) really has it bad.

THE DAY OF THE DOCTORS

2006-04-14T15:24:00.000-04:00

Just got back from seeing my oncologists. I'm now officially Stage IV cancer, which is not good news. However, Robinson is starting me on Tarceva + Avastin, which is supposed to work wonders for some. And I saw the radiation oncologist, who was going to postpone treatment as useless until she saw I only had one tiny spot on my tailbone, and decided to zap it next week. So I'm now tattooed and ready to go. Other spots may show up---she thinks they will. If they do, I'm in deep doo doo. However, the Tarceva/Avastin may prevent that for a while. And so I soldier on! Sandy and my wonderfully upbeat daughter Elena were with me today, and helped immensely. With the right attitude and the new medicines, and a bit of radiation, as well as everyone's support, I may be around for quite a while yet.

NOT GREAT NEWS

2006-04-11T12:06:00.000-04:00

I just got a call from Dr. Robinson, and the MRI confirms that the cancer has spread to my tailbone. Yikes. It means radiation treatments and no surgery. It also means my survival chances are on the way down. On the plus side, it's one small spot, and maybe they can keep it in check. But I'm still caught in the world of the sick with no escape on the horizon.

MRI 4 ME

2006-04-08T16:10:00.000-04:00

Had an MRI yesterday to see if my sacrum is cancerous. Since I have no pain or tenderness, it probably isn't, but let's see. If that's O.K., there's very little on the PET scan to indicate a problem other than my lil' tumor, which seems to stay the same size. But I am short of breath, which is troubling. So how am I doin? as Mayor Koch used to say. Who the hell knows. Still, going off in late May to Anguilla for a vacation. Need some warmth for my old bones, cancer or not.

GETTING MY BOOK-- ON SALE

2006-04-08T07:07:00.000-04:00

My little mystery novel, Alive Again: The Launay Case, is on Amazon and other online booksellers. Free shipping if you buy something else. The review from Kirkus ends: "An engaging mystery with a likable cast of characters, a beguiling dash of historical romance and a fresh take on detective-story conventions.” And a producer in London is interested in perhaps making a TV show or film out of it!
Anyone who buys the book and wants it signed, just let me know and I'll send you a sticker with a personalized dedication. If you read it, feel free to post a customer comment on the Amazon page. Just go to Amazon and type "Alive Again: The Launay Case" in the search box. And check out the April 6 New York Review for an ad.
Barnes and Noble.com is offering a sale price on my book--- 3 bucks off. (That's because Barnes & Noble is part owner of the publisher, IUniverse). Here's the URL: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=vb0IVruCDy&isbn=0595375537&itm=1

In either case, under twenty bucks will buy you a good beach read, with a nice colorful cover.

A HOLIDAY TUNE

2006-04-05T17:43:00.000-04:00

Here's a little holiday ditty, courtesy of Barry. Click on the title and start dancing!

SCARY

2006-04-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

This is a well documented article that is both scary and pretty convincing. The Republicans won't declare Bush "el Supremo", but otherwise....(click on title)

AN AD APPEARS

2006-03-31T12:08:00.000-05:00

Check out page 75 of the new (April 6) issue of the NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOKS--or click on the title of this post. There's my little ad, on the independent press page (right side, on the bottom). Don't blink or you'll miss it!

BEATLES PLUS JUGGLING==AMAZING

2006-03-28T16:53:00.000-05:00

I'm not a big fan of juggling, but this guy is original and incredible, and he picked a tough Beatles song to use. Check it out by clicking on the title.

HIGH CONCEPT

2006-03-17T16:18:00.000-05:00

Here's a new movie where the title says it all. In fact, I assume it got sold by someone just saying the title and a producer saying "Yes". To see it, click on the title of this post. (It's not a joke, by the way)

PET SCAN RESULTS

2006-03-17T14:38:00.000-05:00

Just heard from the good Dr. Robinson about my PET scan. It's generally good news. The tumor, if that's what it is, remains unchanged, there's no mention of the adrenal gland, and all other questionable spots have disappeared, so probably were just inflammation. The one odd thing is uptake in my tailbone, but that's so odd that he thinks it's got nothing to do with nothing, though I'm getting an MRI of the tailbone to be sure. As for going on Avastin again, he doesn't know and will decide later, since I seem O.K. without it, except for the suspicious tailbone.

A BIT OF FAMILY HISTORY

2006-03-16T16:57:00.000-05:00

I don't know how many of you know this, but my brother and sister died at Jonestown almost thirty years ago. Recently someone who knew them put a lovely piece about my sister, Harriet, on the web. It's worth a read and includes a picture (click on colored text):
In any case, both were Sixties idealists who, like 900 others, were exploited and finally murdered by a megalomaniac who used their idealism to destroy them. It's sad, but worth remembering. I sure can't forget it.

THE LATEST MEDICAL NEWS

2006-03-02T08:02:00.000-05:00

Today's Globe has an article that says Avastin can make you go blind--that is, after it gives you a rare brain disorder. WAIT! I CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN!! Just kidding. Fortunately I'm off it at the moment, but I could go back on any time. That is, after my latest PET scan, which comes next Monday. I've given Sugarbaker a pass, and gone back to my old surgeon, who's less famous but actually talks to you. Honestly. The good news is that a lot of the pain that some associated with cancer went away with an anti-inflammatory, so it's probably nothing. Keep you all posted, and thanks for checking by.

DOGS NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME

2006-02-16T17:01:00.000-05:00

I was turned down by the home of the cancer sniffing dogs. Evidently they aren't ready to do their stuff in the real world yet. But I feel pretty good, even though the good news turned out to be a false alarm. Anyway, if you want a laugh, check out this little website-- homemade episodes of a little series: http://www.itsjerrytime.com

THE ROLLER COASTER HEADS DOWNHILL

2006-02-15T08:27:00.000-05:00

Remember a while ago when I told you the great surgeon said I was essentially cured? Well, I got suspicious when he wouldn't put the conclusion in writing or even communicate with my oncologist. Nearly a month has passed, and after talking to the Patient office at the Brigham, he finally communicated. And he ignored what he told us and said I still had IIIB cancer! So he was just grandstanding. These guys are amazing. I'm probably going back on Avastin and waiting until May for a PET scan to see how I am. I'm considering having a dog sniff my breath. They're 99% accurate, and they don't change their stories.

YIKES

2006-02-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

I'm still trying to get a clear answer about whether the great Sugarbaker is right when he says I don't have live cancer cells in me. But here's a new tickle. I read in today's GLOBE that the experimental drug I've been taking since August, AVASTIN, is in clinical trials that have been stopped because seven patients died! Yikes! I'm not taking it any more, thank goodness. Still, it's a great drug. If you don't die from it, it works well!

COOL ILLUSIONS

2006-02-14T08:46:00.000-05:00

Here’s some paintjobs that, if you stand in the right spot, look amazing. Pretty cool:
http://www.2loop.com/3drooms.html

PRETTY ICY

2006-02-06T17:58:00.000-05:00

If you don't like the cold, check out these incredible pictures. Boston is balmy by comparison:
http://www.markdaviesmedia.com/cold

BUSH MORPHS

2006-02-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

This is a great ad from moveon.org. My favorite part is the morphing in the middle. Scroll down to the pictures of Nixon and Bush and click on the link: : http://movies.crooksandliars.com/breakingthelaw.mov

DOCTORS AT WAR

2006-02-03T17:33:00.000-05:00

Well, an exaggeration, but my oncologist was surprised at the great Sugarbaker's pronouncement, and even more that he didn't inform either him or explain his conclusions to us. So he vowed to page him immediately and find out what's going on! Haven't heard from him yet, but hope to do so soon. I'll keep you all posted!

I GET REVIEWED

2006-01-30T16:05:00.000-05:00

Kirkus Reviews has reviewed my little book. Check out what they say:
"A hapless private eye and his kibitzing family investigate crimes of the heart (and worse) in this charmingly low-key mystery.Thirty-seven-year-old college dropout Mike Levine lives with his mom while dabbling as a private detective in lieu of getting a steady job. He gets occasional work trailing faithless spouses, which leaves him free to indulge his obsession with historical trivia, like the locations of landscape features in the Mona Lisa and the subculture of
Victorian women who wore pants (and the men who fetishized them.)
His two passions collide when he is hired to investigate a woman who is possibly being forced into a marriage against her will, a scenario that echoes the saga of Gabrielle de Launay, an 18th-century Frenchwoman who faked her own death to escape her new husband and run off with a lover. As Mike delves into the deepening mystery, he gets assistance from his nattering, inquisitive and surprisingly savvy mother Estelle; his sister Rhonda, a reference librarian who complements her research skills with an unexpected knack for undercover work; and his irascible brother-in-law Ralph, a Boston cop who provides grudging support.
Mike is realistic about his shortcomings as a detective: his trouble maintaining a cover story, thinking fast in tight spots or dealing with tough guys. His favorite method of working an informant is to simply blurt out that he’s a private detective and ask for help with the case. Through Mike’s humorous fumblings, English professor and first-time novelist Tropp wryly sends up the cliché of the hard-bitten, omni-competent detective hero, replacing it with an exuberant gang of amateurs who repair to the dinner table to banter about the day’s sleuthing.
An engaging mystery with a likable cast of characters, a beguiling dash of historical romance and a fresh take on detective-story conventions."

GOODBYE PLASMA HELLO ROMANS

2006-01-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

If you are considering a big flat screen TV, wait. There's a new technology coming that may make plasma and LCD obsolete: http://gear.ign.com/articles/679/679235p1.html
Also, check out this bit of news: http://www.therawfeed.com/2005/09/roman-ruins-discovered-via-google.html

TO READERS OF MY BOOK

2006-01-17T21:56:00.000-05:00

If you want to see a picture of the real bridge at Buriano to compare to the bridge behind Mona, check out: http://www.monalisamania.com/background.htm

THE GREAT MAN SPEAKS

2006-01-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Just got back from seeing the famous Dr. Sugarbaker. This guy is the "top man" as you can tell from the two hour wait, followed by the nurse, followed by his associate, Dr. Cohen, followed by a conference in the hall (I was caught listening at the door) followed by the man himself. Remember that a few months ago I was given 6 months to 2 years to live, and only a few weeks ago my oncologist said I had either IIIB or stage IV cancer, which has a survival rate of 2%. Well, the great man walked in, and in the two minutes I saw him, said that the cancer cells were dead, that the PET scan showed nothing anymore, that I should do nothing for four months, then have another PET scan in May and see him again. He seemed real sure of himself, so we felt great. But the conflicting responses to what Dr. Cohen called a "complicated case" makes me a little wary. But the bottom line is no surgery, and at least this guy thinks I'm cured!

BACK FROM ARUBA

2006-01-15T16:39:00.000-05:00

Had a great week in Aruba, and seeing the new surgeon Tuesday. Thought you'd all like this genuine MIT study. Very funny: http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
After you read it, check out the other side: http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

WHAT'S NEXT FOR ME?

2005-12-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

I saw my oncologist today, and here's the scoop. I've dumped my reluctant surgeon for the famous surgical cowboy, Dr. Sugarbaker. He's more willing to be aggressive surgically even in IIIB cases like mine. I'll be meeting with him soon to discuss what's next. Here are the alternatives: 1. He won't do surgery (if he won't, no one will). 2. He'll do a relatively minor operation and remove the tumor in my lung and on my adrenal gland (if that IS a tumor--some dispute there). 3. He'll do a big big operation and basically clean out the left side of my chest and leave a big gaping void. The goal in 2 or 3 is to remove all the cancer and pronounce me cured. I've stopped chemo so I can flush out my system, and should know what's coming soon. Wish me luck!

YET ANOTHE REASON TO HATE WALMART

2005-12-22T12:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a legitimate story:

After a collision between her minivan and a tractor-trailer five years ago, Debbie Shank now spends her days in a wheelchair in a nursing home, able to move only one arm and two fingers. Brain damage and memory loss has drained most meaningful content from her conversations with her husband of 30 years.
"She'll ask about the boys, she'll ask about the cat," says Jim Shank.
"Whenever I'm there, she thinks it must be a mealtime. We don't really hold a conversation."
Her 17-year-old son is in the Army, which she knows, but he's scheduled for deployment to Iraq next year, which she doesn't know. She also doesn't know that there is a war in Iraq.
To help compensate for the terrible injuries she received in the accident, Shank and her husband sued G.E.M. Trucking and James David Shivers, the driver who hit her, in U.S. District Court in 2000.
According to that lawsuit, Shank suffered damage to her brain stem and other injuries, and was in a coma after Shivers' tractor-trailer struck her near Cape Girardeau, Mo.
The lawsuit was settled for $900,000; after attorneys' fees and other costs, Shank's share was less than half -- just $417,477. The court set up an irrevocable trust for the money so it could only be used to pay for her long term care, and the money was sent directly there. Her husband received just over $119,000, presumably for his loss of consortium.
Before the accident, Shank had worked the night shift stocking shelves at a Missouri Wal-Mart so she could spend her days with her sons so she could be a "better mother". "It's all she ever wanted to be," her husband says. Luckily, she had gotten health insurance through her employer. It paid for her huge medical bills after the accident.
But because she later got a settlement from her lawsuit, Wal-Mart's health plan administrators demanded she repay the money her health insurance paid toward her care. To press the case, the retail giant's health plan is suing the Shanks in U.S. District Court in St. Louis. The lawsuit, filed by the Administrative Committee of the Wal-Mart Stores Inc. Associates' Health and Welfare Plan, claims that her total medical expenses exceed $469,216, and it demands that amount in return. Plus court costs to get it. Plus interest.
But wait; while Shank's settlement was $900,000, she only actually got $417,477. Shouldn't that be the limit? No, the company says: it wants all $469,216, as spelled out in its policy. So if the company wins, the amount in Shank's trust will not be enough; the family could conceivably have to come up with nearly $52,000 more than what they won in court.
Jim Shank had anticipated and feared just such an outcome. He received a letter two weeks after the accident that, he recalls, said the insurance would not cover his wife's care unless he signed over their right to lawsuit proceeds. Not surprisingly, he signed it so his wife could get the care she desperately needed to survive.

INTELLIGENT DESIGN DUMB SUPPORTERS

2005-12-21T11:03:00.000-05:00

Here's a few quotes from the judge's 126 page ruling finding Intelligent Design to be religion. They point up some of the "arguments" of the supporters---yikes!:

The board members wanted a 50-50 ratio between the teaching of creationism and evolution in biology classes (p. 95)
The President of the Board also wanted to inject religion into social studies classes, and supplied the school with a book about the myth of the separation of church and state. (p. 96)
Another board member said "This country wasn't founded on Muslim beliefs or evolution. This country was founded on Christianity and our students should be taught as such." (p. 102)
At a meeting, a board member's wife gave a speech, saying that "evolution teaches nothing but lies," quoted from Genesis, asked "how can we allow anything else to be taught in our schools," recited gospel verses telling people to become born again Christians, and stated that evolution violated the teachings of the Bible. (p. 103)
Other statements by board members included "Nowhere in the Constitution does it call for a separation of church and state," and "liberals in black robes" are "taking away the rights of Christians, " and "2,000 years ago someone died on a cross. Can't someone take a stand for him?"

AN EVENTFUL MEDICAL DAY

2005-12-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

Just got back from the doctor with results from the PET scan. I arrived the same time as a fire, so we were evacuated for a while, and then I got to see da man. Here's the good news. A few months ago they told me surgery (the only possible cure) was out because things had gone too far (Stage IIIB). . They were hoping, instead, to stabilize my cancer for as long as they could. Then came Avastin. The PET results were great---cancer still in one lung and the adrenal gland, but only there, and it's gone way down in intensity (there's just an inflammation in the other lung). Now there will be a conference of surgeons at the Brigham to decide whether to operate. They have to wait a month or so for the Avastin to clear my system, but if they do operate, they might get it all by taking out the tumor and the adrenal gland. The bad news is that I won't be teaching in the spring, which is a bummer. The good news is that this could cure me. But I have to wait and see if the surgeons decide to go for it. My onocologist thinks they should. So do I.

SURPRISE!

2005-12-10T15:14:00.000-05:00

Last year I wrote a little comic mystery. It's now out and available for Xmas, Hannukah, and just as a gift to yourself. The story of how it got published is a good one, but I'll save for a later time. Here's how you can get your very own copy online (I've been told to promote! Of course I'll sign anything you buy. And you can get the download version for only 6 bucks!).
The IUniverse store has the browse feature set up, so you can look at the table of contents and a sample chapter (actually the introduction, which is very different from the chapters, alas):
IUniverse Store (scroll down and click on browse to look in the book and table of contents):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0595375537
It's listed in Amazon, but the page says "out of print" because it isn’t in the warehouse yet. But it will be soon. And it should soon be at Barnes & Noble as well.

JUST IN TIME FOR XMAS

2005-12-09T15:04:00.000-05:00

Here's the "Scared of Santa" photo gallery. I don't know which is funnier---the terrified children or some of the genuinely creepy Santas:
http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?coll=sfe-events-headlines&index=1

A BIT OF A SETBACK

2005-12-06T10:02:00.000-05:00

There's a minor medical mystery that's cropped up in my treatment that's set me back a bit. After I got my transfusion I was full of energy (relatively speaking) but now, less than two weeks later, I'm exhausted and out of breath again. So I went for chemo yesterday and discovered my red blood cell counts are way down. No one knows where the two bags of red blood cells went! So they stopped chemo (except for Avastin) and I'm getting two bags full on Wednesday again. This time they hope the cells hang around for more than a week or two. The result is I'm pretty tired all the time. Next Monday I get another PET scan to see how my cancer is doing (not well, I hope!). Keep you posted.

HOW'M I DOIN?

2005-11-29T08:59:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick post Thanksgiving health update. Two bags of red cells had an amazing effect. I feel fantabulous. There are a few annoying side effects from the Avastin, but nothing I can't handle, and I've got lots of energy again. Spent a busy week with my kids and learned a new skill--injecting drugs. I've got to give myself a weekly injection and I learned how to do it. In a few weeks, I get another PET scan to see how I am internally, but on the outside at least, I'm doing well. I hope everyone reading this had a great Thanksgiving.

FOOD WITH A FACE

2005-11-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

This is a nice little collection from the Museum of Food Anomalies. Some of them are pretty cool:
http://www.hanttula.com/exhibits/freakyfood/

MORE CANCER NEWS

2005-11-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

I've been a bit remiss about reporting on my condition, but there have been a few developments. My red blood cell count is in the cellar, which means I've got no energy, so I'm having a pre Thanksgiving infusion of lots and lots of red blood cells via a transfusion. It's a drag, because it's Wednesday and my kids are in for the holidays and the last thing I want to do is spend four hours of drip drip drip. But they say I will feel immediately better, and able to tackle the turkey with gusto. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone by the way--I've got loads to be thankful for. I hope to return to teaching one class in the spring; at least I've got one scheduled. I also have a surprise coming up in the blog soon, so stay tuned!

GREAT AD

2005-11-12T15:19:00.000-05:00

These are ads that encourage young people to vote. They're very very clever:
http://www.davidlachapelle.com/videos/vanity.html
http://www.davidlachapelle.com/videos/dogfood.html

THE GREATEST GRAFFITI ARTIST

2005-11-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

Here's the website of banksy, the British graffiti artist. His stuff is clever, very well done, and has a point. Check out his manifesto: http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html

THE STORY IN A NUTSHELL

2005-11-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

If you want a very clear explanation of how the Iraq War was sold on a big lie, go to this website: http://www.crooksandliars.com Scroll down to How the Nation was Led to war – play the WMP Video. It explains it all-- even Hardball has clearly had enough.

WAY COOL PHOTO

2005-11-06T18:12:00.000-05:00

Take a look at this satellite photo of a huge glowing patch in the sea off of Africa. Sailors' stories of these patches, bright enough to read by at midnight, weren't believed-- until now.
http://www.npr.org/templates/common/image_enlargement.php?imageResId=4990708

FIND A HUMAN

2005-11-05T08:32:00.001-05:00

This neat little cheat sheet tells you what to press to bypass automated customer service at many places and find a human at the other end of the phone. Sometimes it's complicated!
https://www.quickbase.com/db/bam6rdiey?a=q&qid=5

A TALENTED GUY

2005-11-04T22:12:00.000-05:00

Here's a short demonstration by what must be the world's best yo yo star:
http://www.devilducky.com/media/37630/

AN OLDIE BUT GOODIE

2005-11-04T21:13:00.000-05:00

Here's the video of Graham Chapman's eulogy by John Cleese, from 1989. It's pretty funny: (Warning: a few dirty words)
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=fUYfkmgaGC4

THE REAL COST OF WAR

2005-10-25T22:10:00.000-04:00

Now that the number of deaths of American soldiers in Iraq has reached 2000, you might want to look at this photo essay. You can ignore the anti-Bush rhetoric and just look at the pictures. It's painful to watch it all, but I found it very moving:
http://www.magnuminmotion.com/bitterfruit/intro.html

GOOD MEDICAL NEWS

2005-10-24T15:18:00.000-04:00

I just got back from the doctor, and before I got the experimental drug (Avastin) which isn’t even approved for lung cancer yet. the cancer had spread to my lymph glands, and one doctor guy gave me two years at most. I got back the results of the latest PET scan today, and the cancer has disappeared from my lymph glands totally (!), the main tumor has stayed the same or maybe shrunk a little. There’s a little something on an adrenal gland, but that’s always been there and may be nothing. So the short version is I’m getting better, and this opens up options down the road for surgery or radiation if things continue to get better.
I read a study recently that said PET scans of the lymph nodes have a 50% false positive rate so I may never have had any cancer there. But in any case, I'm pleased. It means they can consider procedures that may lead to a cure. Now I'm looking forward to old age!

INCREDIBLY COOL M.I.T. EXPERIMENT

2005-10-18T11:10:00.000-04:00

Is the old tale that Archimedes was able to set ships on fire with mirrors true? Most people say it isn't, and the TV show Mythbusters claimed it was a myth as well. But then a professor at M.I.T. tried to test it. The results are here and they are pretty damn cool:
http://web.mit.edu/2.009/www/lectures/10_ArchimedesResult.html

WHY I NEVER SHOP AT WAL-MART

2005-10-15T13:42:00.000-04:00

This little video says it all: Click on "movies" then "big box mart"
http://jibjab.com/Home.aspx

A GRUELING DAY

2005-10-12T09:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was not fun. After a morning devoted to a PET scan, in which I got radioactive anti-matter into my poor veins and waited around, I spent the afternoon getting more needles and two bags of chemo. The whole process took all day, and was painful, boring, and depressing. The odd thing is that, except for some persistent chest pain, and fatigue because my red blood cell counts are low, I feel pretty good---better than before. And my oxygen levels have gone up to 99%, which is, I think, a good thing, too. I won't know for a few weeks what the PET scan says, but I'm hoping. Until then I'm free of needles and chemo--- a bit of a break. The world of the sick is not a great place, but the nurses are very nice. And Sandy is, of course, wonderful.

THE LATEST RESEARCH

2005-10-08T21:54:00.000-04:00

Went to the IG NOBEL lectures today and it was terrific. The talks were hilarious, and the experiments great—like the one where they filled a swimming pool with “mucus like” syrup to see if you could swim faster in syrup or in water, or the experiment that showed locusts scenes from Star Wars to test their reaction to stimuli. The interesting part was that all the experiments were in fact not only funny, but useful. The glob of tar that has dropped nine drops since 1927 was shown (longest running experiment in history). Lots of the stuff was illustrated with films and powerpoint. The story of the homosexual necrophiliac duck and the blackbird that has been banging against a glass window every day since June 2004 was the grand finale . Here’s the program--- all of it can be found on the website of the ignobels: improbable.com/

AGRICULTURAL HISTORY: James Watson of Massey University, New Zealand, for his scholarly study, "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley's Exploding Trousers." REFERENCE: "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley's Exploding Trousers: Reflections on an Aspect of Technological Change in New Zealand Dairy-Farming between the World Wars," James Watson, Agricultural History, vol. 78, no. 3, Summer 2004, pp. 346-60.

PHYSICS: John Mainstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1927 -- in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, slowly dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years. REFERENCE: "The Pitch Drop Experiment," B.J. Dalton and T. Parnell, European Journal of Physics, 1984, pp. 198-200.

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness. REFERENCES: US Patent #5868140,

PEACE: Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars." REFERENCE: "Orthopteran DCMD Neuron: A Reevaluation of Responses to Moving Objects. I. Selective Responses to Approaching Objects," F.C. Rind and P.J. Simmons, Journal of Neurophysiology, vol. 68, no. 5, November 1992,

CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water? REFERENCE: "Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?" American Institute of Chemical Engineers Journal, Brian Gettelfinger and E. L. Cussler, vol. 50, no. 11, October 2004,

NUTRITION: Dr. Yoshiro Nakamats of Tokyo, Japan, for photographing and retrospectively analyzing every meal he has consumed during a period of 34 years (and counting).

FLUID DYNAMICS: Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of International University Bremen, Germany and the University of Oulu , Finland; and Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University, Hungary, for using basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin, as detailed in their report "Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh -- Calculations on Avian Defaecation." PUBLISHED IN: Polar Biology, vol. 27, 2003, pp. 56-8.

QUICK MEDICAL UPDATE

2005-10-06T11:32:00.000-04:00

Went for chemo Monday. My vitals were remarkably good, but the session knocked me out for a day and a half. After that, I felt really good--no chest pain, more energy. Except I'm losing my voice for some reason. Tuesday is the PET scan, which should clarify what's happening.

FOR THE DRUNK WHO HAS EVERYTHING

2005-10-04T18:15:00.000-04:00

Set up one of these in your backyard--a real product!
http://www.airquee.co.uk/pub/
And, if you need a wine to go with it, try one of these:
http://www.bumwine.com/

THE GOOD OLD DAYS?

2005-10-04T18:07:00.000-04:00

A true, forgotten story from the past can be found on this interesting website. Check out the Bath school disaster. Columbine was nothing new:
http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/bath/index.html
The research behind the story can be found HERE:
http://freepages.history.rootsweb.com/~bauerle/disaster.htm

NOW, A LITTLE QUIZ!

2005-09-30T09:54:00.000-04:00

This was picked as science photo of the year by the BBC. What is it? No fair looking on the internet. Hint: Everyone sees these every day!

CAN THIS BE TRUE?

2005-09-29T11:00:00.000-04:00

This story is from BBC world news, not some goofy internet site. I just don't know if can possibly be true. Physicists and electrical engineers, enlighten me:
Man's static jacket sparks alert
An Australian man built up so much static electricity in his clothes as he walked that he burned carpets, melted plastic and sparked a mass evacuation. Frank Clewer, of the western Victorian city of Warrnambool, was wearing a synthetic nylon jacket and a woollen shirt when he went for a job interview. As he walked into the building, the carpet ignited from the 40,000 volts of static electricity that had built up.
"It sounded almost like a firecracker or something like that," he said.
"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt," he told Australian radio.
Considerable current
Perplexed firemen evacuated the building and cut its electricity supply, thinking the burns could have been caused by a power surge. "There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we could hear a cracking noise - a bit like a whip - both inside and outside the building," said fire official Henry Barton.
Mr Clewer said that after leaving the building, he scorched a piece of plastic in his car. His clothes were measured by firemen as carrying an electrical charge of 40,000 volts, the Reuters news agency quoted Mr Barton as saying. The fire official added that the charge was close to being high enough to cause the items to spontaneously combust.
"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've never come across anything like this," he said.

THE END OF A LONG QUEST

2005-09-28T09:44:00.000-04:00

Despite many attempts over many years, no one has ever been able to see or photograph a living giant squid, one of the largest creatures in the world. Then, a few days ago.....
(by the way, they estimate this specimen to be over 26 feet long!) If you want to read more, there's a National Geographic story you can find on Google under "live giant squid photos"

BUSH LOOKS PRESIDENTIAL

2005-09-27T17:02:00.000-04:00

Here's a little photo op picture (genuine? probably not!) of Bush looking decisive on the phone. Spot what's wrong!

CLARITY CORRECTION

2005-09-17T17:47:00.000-04:00

I was a bit unclear on my last medical post. This session of chemo isn't over yet, and the PET scan that measures my fate won't be done for three weeks or so.

AMAZING 3-D SIDEWALK ART

2005-09-15T07:48:00.000-04:00

Mike N. sent me this link of an artist who is incredible. The first two pictures shows you how he does it, and then just look at the rest! http://yoke.cc/sidewalk.htm

REPUBLICANS PLANNING FOR '08?

2005-09-13T16:37:00.000-04:00

There was a very troubling lead editorial in the Times the other day. Ostensibly for "security reasons" the Georgia legislature passed a law that says you need either a drivers' license, passport, or special photo ID to vote. The "special ID" will cost $20. Let's all try to guess who doesn't have a drivers' license or passport, and can't afford twenty bucks for a voter ID. They argue this isn't a "poll tax" (illegal) since it's a security measure. But let's hope it's overturned. If it isn't, other states are planning to follow. The other point the editors make is that the lawmakers really don't plan for people to get the ID, since they currently have NO places in Atlanta where you can get one. You got to watch these guys. They don't believe in democracy.

LATEST HEALTH NEWS

2005-09-12T22:09:00.000-04:00

I went in today for my last session of chemo before another PET scan, and a talk with my oncologist. After three weeks, they'll find out if this new drug had any effect. There are, he says, three alternatives: it got worse (let's not discuss it); it's shrunk; and it's remained stable. Nowadays it turns out that it's possible this can remain stable and become more or less a chronic condition, or at least one that goes on for a long time. If it shrunk enough, surgery might be attempted, but if they can't be sure of getting it all, that might be a lot of trouble for nothing. So I'll know pretty soon what way everything is going, and whether I can start planning to return to work in January.

THE LATEST FROM THE ONION

2005-09-07T19:05:00.000-04:00

Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help
NEW ORLEANS—Federal Emergency Management Agency director Michael Brown, leading a detachment of 7,500 relief workers, moseyed on down to New Orleans Monday afternoon. "Well, I do declare, it's my job to see if any of these poor folks need any old thing," Brown said from his command rocker on the command post porch, adding, "Mighty hot day, ain't it?" Follow-up teams of emergency relief workers are expected to begin ambling into the Gulf Coast region as early as this weekend. "They should be getting the trucks good and warmed up anytime now, and they'll be cruising into town just as soon as all the reservists stroll in," said Brown, who is currently at his desk awaiting offers of food, water, and evacuation buses to roll in from "somewhere or other."

COOL PAINTINGS

2005-09-03T08:35:00.000-04:00

These paintings are pretty cool: http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/wall/
There's a lot you can do with a blank wall!

LATEST CHEMO

2005-09-01T11:03:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was an interesting day, as my blood was transformed into a chemical stew of chemo drugs and a new drug, Avastin, which is supposed to increase longevity (always a good thing). I also got another $1000 injection to increase my red blood cells. I feel surprisingly good, despite the junk in my veins (is this how drug addicts feel???). I'm trying to keep up exercise and good eatin', though naptime looms larger in my day. Another odd feeling is that I sort of miss the start of school, and certainly my students and colleagues, though I can't say I yearn to read student papers. Perhaps I'll be back in the spring. I hope so. Everyone at Babson can hold the fort without me, I'm sure, but I'll try to make an appearance once in a while, just to remind myself I'm still gainfully employed, sort of.

BRIT PLACE NAMES

2005-08-29T14:50:00.000-04:00

There's a great list of the hundred rudest place names in Britain I found on the web. Here's the top 25, guaranteed genuine: 25 Wetwang, East Yorkshire 24 Scratchy Bottom, Dorset 23 Swallow Passage, London 22 Lickey End, Worcestershire 21 Bitchfield, Lincolnshire 20 Spanker Lane, Derbyshire 19 Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire 18 Lickfold, West Sussex 17 Dick Court, Lanarkshire 16 Beaver Close, Surrey 15 Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire 14 Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire 13 Inchinnan Drive, Renfrewshire 12 Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire 11 Hole of Horcum, North Yorkshire, 10 Slag Lane, Merseyside 9 Shitterton, Dorset 8 Back Passage, London 7 Fingringhoe, Essex 6 Muff, Northern Ireland 5 Sandy Balls, Hampshire 4 Twatt, Orkney 3 Bell End, Birmingham 2 Minge Lane, Worcestershire 1 Cocks, Cornwall

MORE ON ME

2005-08-25T17:10:00.000-04:00

Saw my oncologist yesterday and the surgeon today, and came out feeling more hopeful. They both didn't agree with the MGH guy who gave me 2 years max, primarily because there are new treatments coming down the pike, and I'm otherwise quite healthy. In fact, I start a new treatment, Avastin + chemo, next week, which is not approved yet for lung cancer, but preliminary research says works well. Plus, surgery (the only cure) is not ruled out yet--- if the chemicals can get the PET scan to behave, they'll go in, scalpels flying. It's a longish shot, since I have little tumory thingies outside my lung, but still not off the (operating) table. They can't do surgery early because once you are sans lung, you then are not eligible for any new therapies, and they offer the most hope. So it's a bit of a race--my health vs new treatments. So far, it looks like I might make it to the finish line in time.

A LITTLE NEWS AND A FUNNY VIDEO

2005-08-23T17:51:00.000-04:00

My second opinion wasn't great--- not too encouraging. However, lately my oncologist friends say that it was overly pessimistic. Tomorrow I talk to my oncologist and the next day a surgeon, so we'll see what they say. There's lots of possibilities out there that may lead to long term survival. While we all contemplate what that means, I have a very funny short mockumentary--take a look. Laughter, as they used to say in the Reader's Digest, is the best medicine:
http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/23894/

WHAT THE RICH DO WITH THEIR TAX BREAKS

2005-08-13T21:33:00.000-04:00

Get a load of this little item, and read the caption at the bottom about Courage. It's real. Soon we may all be required to own at least the little one! http://foxbronzeart.com/Bush.htm

A SECOND OPINION

2005-08-12T15:55:00.000-04:00

I'm going in next week to get a second opinion from the lung unit at Mass General. Today I sent them my records (54 pages so far!) and a summary of my case so far. Here that is, for the morbidly curious:
SUMMARY: My concerns have to do with whether I need more aggressive therapy--- drugs (Tarceva and tests? Chemo and Avastin?); radiation therapy; or surgery. My case is unusual in that the scar tissue caused by 3 pneumothoraxes have confined a few malignant pleural cells to one small area. Exploratory surgery revealed NO malignancy, and the second PET scan showed a smaller tumor BUT three nodes with very small (8 mm) activity that may be malignancy or inflammation (The first PET scan didn’t show lymph node involvment) Plus, cancer blood markers are going down, including a very puzzling marker (CA-19.9) that’s used for pancreatic cancer and reached 7600 but is going down—at 5800 now. There’s NO PET indicator of pancreatic cancer.
Current Therapy: Dr. R. has given me three sessions of chemo, then a second PET scan which was summarized as “mixed at best.” and is now doing three chemo sessions more, to be followed by a third PET scan,
My questions: How do I resolve the lymph node issue? Should I soon have radiation or surgery? Are there better chemo alternatives? Do I need the blood test for Tarceva? What about Tarceva and Avestin? I want a CURE and can take the discomfort—I’m otherwise in great heath-- what’s the most aggressive way to go for it?
PLUS: I included an e-mail exchange with Dr. B about an experimental operation that may be appropriate for my condition

A DIRTY LITTLE DITTY

2005-08-12T15:44:00.000-04:00

This little song, by Eric Idle of Monty Python, is full of the f word, so be warned. But it's a cute little ditty: http://www.geoffarnold.com/mt-archives/000103.html

Here's the lyrics, cleaned up, but it sounds much better:
F--k you very much the FCC F--k you very much for fining meFive thousand bucks a f--k So I'm really out of luck That's more than Heidi Fleiss was charging me

So f--k you very much the FCC for proving that free speech just isn't free/Clear Channel's a dear channel/So Howard Stern must go Attorney General Ashcroft doesn't like strong words and so/He's charging twice as much as all the drugs for Rush Limbaugh/So f--k you all so very much
So f--k you very much, Dear Mr. Bush For heroically sitting on your tush For Halliburton, Enron, all the companies who fail Let's send them a clear signal and stick Martha straight in jail/She's an uppity rich bitchand at least she isn't male/So f--k you all so very much

So f--k you dickhead Mr. Cheney too/F--k you and f--k everything you do/Your pacemaker must be a fake/You haven't got a heart/As far as I'm concerned you're just a pasty-faced old fart/And as for Condoleeza she's an intellectual tart/So f--k you all so very much

So f--k you very much, the EPA/For giving all Alaska's oil away/It really is a bummer/When I can't fill my hummer/The ozone's a nogozone now that Arnold's here to say:"The nuclear winter games are going to take place in LA"/So f--k you all so very much

So what the planet fails/Let's save the great white males!/And f--k you all so very much

FROM THE ONION

2005-08-11T15:13:00.000-04:00

This could be us:

LONGTIME MARRIED COUPLE SUBJECTED TO EXCRUCIATING ROMANTIC WEEKEND

KENOSHA, WI—Sources report that longtime married couple Duane and Edna Schumacher's weekend stay at Chicago's FantasyLand Suites was a grueling ordeal of unwelcome interruptions to their long-established marital routine.
"Oh, for Jiminy Cricket," Edna, 52, said Monday after returning from the trip, a 30th anniversary gift from her daughters. "Why the girls thought either one of us would find such an experience enjoyable is beyond me."
She added: "I was planning to weed my flower bed and maybe scrub out the back sink, which is just covered in muck, but now the whole weekend's shot."
The Schumachers said the unbearable ordeal began at check-in, when the reservations clerk handed the couple their keys, winked, and said, "Enjoy your stay." From that moment forth, virtually everything that occurred during the weekend induced cringes and winces from the aging pair.
"I love Edna, and I enjoy spending time with her," Duane, 58, said. "But when you're at that place, wherever you go, you know that the staff thinks you're either just coming from, or on your way to, having sex. I don't care for that kind of attention."
Thinking that "once they got settled, they would at least be able to relax," the Schumachers realized upon entering their suite that there was no escape from the crippling awkwardness that awaited them. At the sight of the red plush carpeting, red light bulbs, garish neo-Victorian nudes, and ceiling mirrors above the waterbed, Duane said he began having a severe attack of acid reflux.
The retiree, whose nighttime routine includes a shower at approximately 8 p.m., said that when he saw the heart-shaped hot tub in the center of the room, his first thought was, "How am I going to take a shower in that?"
According to Edna, a complimentary gift basket on the dresser contained flowers, Godiva chocolates, passion-fruit bubble bath, body oil, condoms, and "several battery-operated 'marital aids' that I don't care to describe."
"The chocolates were good," she said. "But they were the only thing we had to eat. Was that the hotel's idea of a proper supper?"
Edna, who privately told her daughter that she has been haunted by the image of her husband's posterior ever since she saw him emerge from the hot tub Friday evening, said, "There was an Inspector Lynley on Channel 13 that I was hoping to catch Friday night."
As the romantic weekend away from home progressed, so did the aging couple's agony.
"I could hardly sleep, which kept Edna awake, too," Duane said. "And that waterbed made Edna so seasick, I had to get up and make a 1 a.m. trip to Walgreens to get Dramamine."
On Saturday morning, the couple said they were informed that FantasyLand Suites does not offer morning newspapers—leading Duane to spend close to an hour angrily bellowing, "What do I have to do to just get a copy of the paper?!"
"It was even worse in the breakfast dining room," Edna said. "There we were, surrounded by young couples who were all over each other, and Duane is barking at me about 'What kind of a hotel doesn't have Total?'"
That night, the Schumachers suffered through a moonlight cruise on Lake Michigan, complete with violin accompaniment. During the cruise, which lasted for several hours, Duane said he had no way to return to shore to access the overnight bag containing his foot medication. Additionally, the couple missed their normal evening newscast.
On Sunday morning, the couple checked out and spent the rest of the day at a local Motel 6.
"We've been married for 30 years. There comes a point in a man and woman's life when you're happy just to get a good night's sleep," Duane said.

MORE CHEMO AND A GOLD PLATED INJECTION

2005-08-03T18:37:00.000-04:00

If this isn't proving too boring, here's the latest on my therapy. I got my records, and the plot thickens. The actual PET scan report said "mixed at best" and has got us thinking there may be more radical therapies out there we'll have to investigate. I'm willing to let them do WHATEVER to cure this, so we'll see. PLUS, I was prescribed a drug to build up my red blood cell count. After I finally found a drug store that carried it, it turned out that Blue Cross hadn't authorized payment for it. Naive me asked, "How much is it?" figuring I'll pony up the bucks. It was, get this, $1000 per teeny little vial, or $4000 in all. Stuff you don't want to spill. Anyhoo, after heroic efforts manning the phone, Sandy got someone to get them to authorize the payment, and I'm injected with that valuable stuff. I'm also back on chemo, though maybe I'll be doing more. I've got medical connections, and they're nosing out other people to talk to. It turns out you have to get feisty to see what's possible. So feisty I will get. Over and out for now.